You never know what you've got, till it's gone. No truer words have been spoken when it comes to a good relationship. If you had a close, loving relationship with someone who ended up dumping you, you may want to win your ex back. You have invested a great deal of emotional blood, sweat and tears for this relationship and it would be a shame to let it all go to waste without trying save it. Here is how you win ex back.
Before you start, you need to take a deep look at your own feelings. Are you truly, still deeply in love with this person? When the passion burns down to something that is merely comfortable, there has to be more. Comfort is nice, it makes you feel safe. But, great relationships are made of much more than comfort. There has to be a deep loving bond. If you still feel a burning desire of passion for your ex, you have a chance to win your ex back.
Now you must examine their feelings for you. Does your ex share the same feelings? If your relationship suffered ( as so many do) from miss-communication, common goals or just a lack of time spent on keeping your relationship close- then you can win ex back. But, if there is more to your breakup, such as, your ex is no longer in love with you. You should probably move on.
When you discover that there is still a mutual bond of love between you, you can begin to do things that will bring you back together again. For example, look back to when you were both happy, what is different now? Did you gain some weight? Did they let themselves go? Did you both spend more time trying to meet each one anothers needs? Where you more involved in other activities that also made you happier?
It can be a natural progression when a couple falls in love, you start to spend less time with family and friends or outside activities as the relationship demands more from you. As well as, personal appearance can suffer a bit from the security of a loving relationship.
To win your ex back, you need to go back to being the person they fell in love with.
Another way to help you win ex back is to use basic human behavior to your advantage. The old saying, "You want what you can't have," carries a lot of power. Accept the breakup, and refrain from calling, sending text messages or going by their house to see them. You will become more desirable to them. You never want to show any kind of desperation.
Being detached from your ex allows you to also focus on what makes you happy. Catch up with friends and family. Peruse other passions that may have gone to the way-side because of your relationship. This will have a positive effect on your over-all personality. Making you more attractive and a great tool for win ex back.
When the opportunity comes to get together with your ex, use this time to reminisce. Use the past to your advantage, if you know that there will be a chance to see your ex, wear an outfit you know they really liked. If you had place you used to visit together, mention that you were there again. You can use the many positive experiences you shared to win ex back.
Make open invitations to your ex to casual events. Let your ex know that a group of friends are going out and you would like them to come, suggest that they bring a date if they feel like it.
Above all, be yourself. You can't win your ex back by being someone you are not. If they still love you, then things will work out. If not, there is not much you can do about that. Just be yourself.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
How Do I Bring Up Relationship Counseling to My Partner?
Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn't be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even prevent a future divorce.
Today's couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn't something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they'll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.
If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you're likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.
If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they're more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don't accuse the other person of needing counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don't say so. Once you're in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.
Don't be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you've been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It's never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it's never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you're admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that's not true. By facing any obstacles now, you're making the relationship stronger in the long run.
If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn't perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn't true. Just because you're willing to admit that everything is not perfect shows that you're willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.
If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they're more likely to give it a try.
Today's couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn't something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they'll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.
If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you're likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.
If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they're more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don't accuse the other person of needing counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don't say so. Once you're in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.
Don't be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you've been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It's never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it's never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you're admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that's not true. By facing any obstacles now, you're making the relationship stronger in the long run.
If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn't perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn't true. Just because you're willing to admit that everything is not perfect shows that you're willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.
If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they're more likely to give it a try.
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