Friday, April 23, 2010

10 Steps To Ex Get Back Together

Do you miss your ex? Get back together is possible. You just have to know how to do it.

Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her. There are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up. I’ll try to explain them in this article about how to deal with your ex. Get back together with her using these 10 techniques.

1.) Don’t be afraid to call her. While calling ten times a day says you’re desperate, phoning once or twice a week keeps you on her radar.

2.) Similarly, send her an email from time to time. Just saying “what’s up?” gives her the opportunity to reconnect.

3.) Don’t date other girls. As long as you’re pining for her, be true to her. If you do occasionally see another girl, don’t sleep with her if you ever want to get back together with your ex. Get back together without creating a new “history” with other women.

4.) Don’t forget her birthday. A birthday is a great “excuse” to get back in touch. Everyone likes to be remembered, celebrated, and even gifted on their birthday. So, treat her like a princess on this day.

5.) Analyze her. Figure out what she needs in a man. Be aware of what she says and does when she talks. You need to understand your ex now more than ever before.

6.) Don’t be jealous. After you’ve broken up, you don’t have any claim on her. So, don’t exhibit jealousy if she goes out with another guy. Remember she is your ex. Get back together means that you have to understand this basic principle.

7.) Be on the lookout as to how she acts with other guys. If she stands up for you when other guys put you down, it’s a good sign she’s still interested in you. But, if she takes out the butcher knife and stabs you in the back, then there’s not much hope of getting back into a healthy, happy relationship.

8.) Don’t play games. When you’re broken up with someone you love, it’s easy to start the “mind games.” But, you can damage her for life with this kind of behavior. You don’t want to hurt her if you want to get back together. So, just don’t play mind games.

9.) Power is important. Hold your cards close to your chest. Relationships are difficult. When you are together, you can communicate, but apart, you need to keep your feelings close to your vest. When you say “I love you” to a girl you’ve broken up with, you’ve given away all of your power and she has you in a precarious position.

10.) Be desirable. During the break up, stay in shape or get back into shape. Expand your interests. In short, be the boyfriend she wants. You already have a history. If you are even more alluring this time around, she’s sure to want you back.

It is possible to reconcile with your ex. Get back together using the advice in this article.

If you need to apologize for something, learn the best way to do so. The apology Letter

Common Sense for the Relationship Exsperts

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.

They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

Find more great common sense tips and a full detailed plan on making the best and getting the most out of your relationships with "The Magic of Making Up Review"

Thursday, April 22, 2010

How Get Your Ex Back - What To Do When You've Been Dumped

In most but not all breakups, it is the girl who calls for the split. Most boys do not like to end a relationship when they have a good thing going for them. If you have been broken up with but you want to know how get your ex back, the tips below might benefit you significantly.

- * First and foremost, make sure that you really want to know how get your ex back. Was she doing you a favor by breaking up with you? Are you trying to keep things working just because you do not want to be alone, or do you really and truly feel as if you love her?

Is she just ok, or are you really serious about her? You need to come to a conclusion here first and foremost before you can truly learn how get your ex back.

- * Now that you know how you feel, confirm how she feels in order to determine whether or not you stand a chance when it comes to learning how get your ex back. Girls can be fickle when it comes to relationships, so she may still be completely and totally in love with you despite breaking up with you.

Let her come to you. Let her make the first move. Let her guide the rekindling of the relationship. If she really does love you and care about you, she will eventually realize that the ball is in her court and it is her decision whether or not to rekindle things.

- * If you are serious about learning how get your ex back, consider moving on and behaving as if you have completely and fully accepted the break up and the future of the relationship. This will not actually chase her away, but rather will let her know that she is capable of making the first move when she is ready to.

- * Try to limit contact when you want to know how get your ex back, not completely but enough that you are not cramming yourself down her throat or forcing her to think about the break up all the time. Let her think that you are giving her space, and she will come to you when she is absolutely ready to do so. This may seem difficult at times, but the payoff in the end is enormous.

These tips are simple and straight forward, and they can really go a long way when it comes to helping you know how get your ex back. If you are serious about rekindling love with your ex significant other, then you absolutely have to heed the information in these tips, because they will drive the right results. Most relationships can be rekindled if the people in them are willing to go to great lengths to make it happen, so don't be discouraged.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

2 Secret Techniques, How To Save My Marriage

If you’re wondering, “How to save my marriage?” then you only have to look around you to remember the things you did together when you were first married or first dating. Are you still doing those things today? If you’re trying to figure out, “How to save my marriage?” then chances are you’re not.

Marriages get into trouble for a variety of different reasons. There are affairs, lies, boredom, changes people go through that make them more or less appealing to each other, moves, children, jobs . . . . All these things factor into a marriage and help determine whether it’s healthy or whether you’ll end up asking, “How to save my marriage?”

If there are have been affairs or serious betrayals and lies, then probably the best thing you can do if you want to save the marriage it to go to counseling. This isn’t one of the secret techniques, but it’s probably the only one that can really help once things like that have gone on.

Through marriage counseling, you may be able to get at the heart of why there was cheating, and find ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Counseling may also lead you to the painful decision that you don’t want to remain in such a marriage where you may not be able to trust your spouse again (or yourself, if you’re the one who cheated).

Sometimes marriage counseling is very painful while you’re going, but once the painful things come out it’s like a wound that’s been cleaned out –now it can start to heal.

The secret techniques aren’t really secret either, but they might as well be because few people every try them and instead do the exact opposite.

The first thing you can do when you find yourself asking, “How to save my marriage?” is to simply leave your spouse alone. Enjoy some me time without your partner. It doesn’t have to be for very long. It can be just a few days. Just make sure your partner knows that it isn’t practice for splitting up, you’re just giving him or her a little breathing room.

Sometimes marriages suffer because spouses spend too much time together. If that’s the case in your marriage, some time apart can be a very good thing.

If the problem with the marriage is that you spend too much time apart already, then you can make a difference in your marriage by taking some initiative. Vow right now to make some changes, and go and schedule a weekend getaway for you both. If that’s too expensive, plan an outing for the day. Or plan three hours of dinner and a movie where it’s just the two of you, on a private and surprise date.

You’d be surprised how these two secret techniques, when used at the appropriate times, can feel so good they’ll take you from asking, “How to save my marriage?” to wondering why you hadn’t been doing these things for several years.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Simple Steps to Get My Girlfriend Back

“Can I get my girlfriend back ever?” If that is what you are pondering it seems like you may be in a hard situation. There is a chance but it may be only a sliver. You have to know that it won’t result in your or hers heart getting ripped apart again. The truth is one of you screwed up. Who was it? Can the person who messed up that caused you to get separated in the first place be trusted again? The answer to that question may not let you know the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” but it will help you know if you should.

Is it the best idea for both of you to get back together? If you are fully convinced that it is then you might be able to. The problem is in persuading the ex girlfriend that you should. You need to write down all the reasons that support the idea to get back together. It doesn’t need to be a letter or anything. It can be just a list of all the reasons why it would be a good thing to get your girlfriend back. You can even put at the top of it, “Can I get my girlfriend back or should I even try?”

When write this you are going to jot down every reason that it would be good to get back together. Try brain storming if you have trouble coming up with good ideas. Write down everything that you can think of whether it’s silly or not. Sometimes the small things make all the difference in the world. After you have your list, go through and jot down an objection to each one. Don’t be afraid to do this, it’s called being objective. The answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” may be yes if you are able to find all objections and overcome them.

Look at this all closely and try to convince yourself that it isn’t the best idea. If you can’t do that then it’s a matter of letting your ex girlfriend know the reasons why you should. What you have done with all of this is made yourself able to deal with any objections and concerns that she has of why it wouldn’t be a good thing. You may have very well found out the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” by answering all the questions surrounding that one.

There is one objection that you might not be able to overcome and that is, "I just need her." If she just does not want to get back together, there might be no other reason for it. You can’t make her want you. You can’t convince her that she should. This is one of the things that you have to be prepared for. What you will be doing, though, is getting to that answer. If she does have a part of her that wants to be with you then the answer to “Can I get my girlfriend back?” is ‘yes’.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Desire Your Ex Back?

Too many people confuse desire with a negative emotion. Desire: is nothing more than a strong want and if that strong want or desire keeps you on task, than isn't it a positive thing? Now if you confuse desire with lust that is a different emotion all together, now isn't it.

There is nothing wrong with desire. As a matter of fact I think too many times people push their desires down with the thought that they will never attain their desires so why keep trying. It sounds harsh or sad, but true. What kind of life will you lead if you ignore your desires?

You may be asking, what does this have to do with getting my ex back? Well, it has a lot to do with getting your ex back. If your desire to rekindle a love affair with someone and never do anything about it, then you fit right in with 90% of the public that go through life unfulfilled.

Take the idea in your conscious mind and give it to your unconscious mind where it will develop into a desire or a strong want. Focus on your desires and make them come true. With patients and planning you can make all of your desires come true.

Thank you for listening to my "off the beaten path" subject today.

May all your wants and desires come true!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Lost Love-How to deal with a Lost Relationship

I find myself from time to time deep in thought about previous relationships and how eventually I lost love. I try to learn from the experiences where I lost love so that I can do better next time. One of my biggest focuses is always to move on with a much greater understanding of the concept of love than what I had before.

There are parts of my life where I was absolutely sure that I lost love in a way that was worse than ever before. I always felt as if my life was over at this point and perhaps that I would never find love again. However, as it turns out, each and every time that I lost love, it was only so that I could move on and find a better and stronger love in the future.

We all have to remember that love has a spontaneous lifespan just like everything else that we experience in our lives. Every time that I lost love, I realized this, and it helped me move on and make sense of what I was feeling in a capacity that allowed me to find happiness again even after losing love.

Each time that I lost love, I found myself realizing that the lifespan of the most recent relationship was longer than the lifespan of the last relationship, meaning that each relationship brought more meaning and more joy than before. I was definitely benefiting, growing as a person, even though it did not always seem so at the time.

Typically any time that I lost love, I felt as if I was never going to get it back. I felt as if I was lost forever and would never feel joy or love or happiness again. But upon thinking about the relationship and the moment where I lost love, I eventually realized that even though the end of the relationship was bad or rocky, I still walked away with good things, learning and growing as a person in the process.

I soon realized that just because I lost love, that did not mean that I would not find it again.

I realized that just because I had lost love, it did not mean that I was destined to be alone forever.

Most importantly, I learned that in losing love, I was learning how to find love again.

As we get older and become more experienced in matters of the heart, our relationship life spans grow, and our loves increase and become more powerful and more influential over our lives. That means losing love is a part of gaining love and growing love.

If you are in a position where you have lost love, don't let your willpower to carry on falter. You will either rekindle that love if it is meant to be, or you will find new and better love in the future, having learned from each and every one of your past relationships, even the bad ones.

This is just a small snippet of the wisdom T.W Jackson shares in his book "The Magic of Making Up" You can read my full review of his book and how it changed my life, over at www.ExBackLove.com.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Song of heartbreak Can Get Your Ex Back

Songs of heartbreak are the perfect songs to listen to after a breakup.. You don't feel like listening to anything happy and upbeat. In fact, some happy songs can only make things worse because you're reminded of the good times you had together. You may even write a few songs of heartbreak yourself. (it is great therapy)

Songs of heartbreak can be traced as far back as mans discovery of music and heart ache. If you're not comfortable trying to come up with an entire song or you have trouble rhyming, you can always write a poem instead. (take a look at yesterdays post)

You can even write your ex a long letter in which you express yourself, if you feel a poem or song is just too hard or too far removed from that they would actually expect of you. But if you can make up a song that truly expresses how you feel then you should go for it.

If you've ever had someone write a poem or a song for you, you know how great it feels. So the idea that you would make up heartbroken songs might really move your ex to think about what's going on. They're sure to be touched in some say by the gesture, at least. It is the thought that counts and everyone would love a song written for them.

To write these songs, you only need to write poetry and then put it to music. You have to write the words, but you don't have to be able to write music. Just come up with a melody and sing the songs to that melody. If you can't come up with a melody of your own, then pick a melody from a favorite song and write new words for it.

Still, writing songs isn't for everyone. Fortunately there have been millions of them written for you already! You probably already have a few favorites that you like to listen to. Now they might have an entirely new meaning when you listen to them.

There's a good chance that your ex will find new meaning in them too, since you've broken up. You could burn a CD of several sad songs about break ups and send it to him or her with a letter. The thing that makes this so effective is that you'll very carefully choose the songs you include.

Just because a song is sad and about a breakup doesn't mean it's a good idea to include it. Really listen to the words and the sentiment behind them. Then choose songs that especially fit your situation.

I can really be effective to choose a few sad songs about the relationship being strained or ending, and include a really uplifting love song among them. If you have a special song as a couple, including that as the last song on the CD can remind your ex of happier times.

Heartbroken songs are there to help you heal, but if you use them correctly they may help you get back together with your ex. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings with your ex. At the very least you can say, "Hey, I tried." And you won't have to go though life thinking, "What if." Or, "If I would have only done this, we would still be together."

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Writting a Poem to Bring Your Relationship Back

Being separated from your loved one can get you in tune with your true felling for someone, it can even bring you back together. Writing poetry is a good way to express how you feel about a break up. And if you write a really touching heartbroken poem, you might impress your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend with how much you really care.

You don't have to be a poet to write a poem that will make a great impression on your ex. Sharing your feelings and what your relationship meant to you will be all that you need. Writing a poem from the heart will force your ex to see you in a different light.

You probably shouldn't write the poem the moment you break up and within an hour rush it over to them to read. A heartbroken poem, to be genuine, is something that will probably take at least a little time to write.

You aren’t going to want to just jot down anything that comes to your mind and start reading it out loud to your ex. Something like that will feel false and forced. You want this to be genuine if it's going to help you get back together.

It's not that hard to write a heartbroken poem once you decide to do it and you get started. The hardest part is getting started, though, so you have to make yourself do that. Then it will probably start to flow more naturally.

First, just think about how you feel. Of course you'll feel things like sadness or hurt. But if you can compare that to something else rather than just say you're sad or hurt, it makes a more powerful poem. Likening a flooding rain to all the tears you've cried is better than just saying "I've cried a lot."

Comparing tears to rain is a little cliché, but it gives you the general idea of how you should use metaphors to make the writing better and more meaningful. In the poem, tell your ex what's different about your life without them, and how you'd like to have them back. You can list the reasons, as long as they're valid ones that your ex might want to hear.

If you've not written much or any poetry, then don't worry about rhyming. Modern poetry rarely rhymes unless it's for comic effect. Just write kind of like you speak, but with metaphor and words that bring up a mental picture as you read.

You can also be very honest in the poem in a way that might make you uncomfortable in a conversation. Especially if you won't be there when your ex reads the poem, it's easier to say things you might worry about saying in person, because there can't be an immediate rejection. So say what you want to say.

It might not be easy to write something like that to give to your ex. You might worry that they'll think it's silly. But you'll always know that you tried. Even if your heartbroken poem doesn’t change anything, at least you fought for what you wanted. And you will be surprised at how good you will feel after get all of your thoughts down on paper.

To find out more on how to write a letter to your ex check out "The Apology Letter" over at ExBackLove.com

Monday, April 12, 2010

10 Steps To Ex Get Back Together

Do you miss your ex? Getting back together is possible. You just have to know how to do it.

Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her. There are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up. I’ll try to explain them in this article about how to deal with your ex. Get back together with her using these 10 steps.

1.) Don’t be afraid to call her. While calling ten times a day says you’re desperate, phoning once or twice a week keeps you on her radar. Be nice and don't argue.

2.) Similarly, send her an email from time to time. Just saying “what’s up?” gives her the opportunity to reconnect. Again, avoid being defensive or starting an argument.

3.) Don’t date other girls. As long as you’re pining for her, be true to her. If you do occasionally see another girl, don’t sleep with her if you ever want to get back together with your ex. Get back together without creating a new “history” with other women.

4.) Don’t forget her birthday. A birthday is a great “excuse” to get back in touch. Everyone likes to be remembered, celebrated, and even gifted on their birthday. So, treat her like a princess on this day.

5.) Analyze her. Figure out what she needs in a man. Be aware of what she says and does when she talks. You need to understand your ex now more than ever before. Listening is the key here, truly listen.

6.) Don’t be jealous. After you’ve broken up, you don’t have any claim on her. So, don’t exhibit jealousy if she goes out with another guy. Remember she is your ex. Get back together means that you have to understand this basic principle.

7.) Be on the lookout as to how she acts with other guys. If she stands up for you when other guys put you down, it’s a good sign she’s still interested in you. But, if she takes out the butcher knife and stabs you in the back, then there’s not much hope of getting back into a healthy, happy relationship.

8.) Don’t play games. When you’re broken up with someone you love, it’s easy to start the “mind games.” But, you can damage her for life with this kind of behavior. You don’t want to hurt her if you want to get back together. So, just don’t play mind games.

9.) Power is important. Hold your cards close to your chest. Relationships are difficult. When you are together, you can communicate, but apart, you need to keep your feelings close to your vest. When you say “I love you” to a girl you’ve broken up with, you’ve given away all of your power and she has you in a precarious position.

10.) Be desirable. During the break up, stay in shape or get back into shape. Expand your interests. In short, be the boyfriend she wants. You already have a history. If you are even more alluring this time around, she’s sure to want you back.

It is possible to reconcile with your ex. Get back together using the advice in this article.

For a complete guide to winning your ex back for good pick up a copy of "The Magic of Making Up" by T.W. Jackson but before you do read my review at www.exbacklove.com

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Save Marriage Book or E-Book

While a good save marriage book can’t do all the things that working with a live therapist can, it can still provide help for couples who can’t afford therapy but are unable to work through their issues on their own. Self help books are very popular, and if you are willing to do the work, they can be a very good guide for you and your spouse if your marriage is in crisis.

Go to the self help section of any bookstore and you will quickly see that there are a lot of books on the topic of marriage. You should be able to find a save marriage book which will be helpful. But there are some things you should look for in order to get a quality book that won’t end up being a waste of your time and money.

Make sure the author is reputable

Also, read the book cover or anywhere in the book where it gives a little more information about the author. Of course some authors who are relationship experts are very well known and will often be excellent choices for a save marriage book. Some of the best include Barbara DeAngelis, John Gray, T.W. Jackson and John Gottman to name a few. There are many more, but these individuals are all experts when it comes to marriage and relationships in general.

Choose a book which is thorough, but easy to read

There are several topics which should be included in any good save marriage book. Look through the table of contents to see what areas the author covers. Some very important areas are:

• Communication
• Sex
• Family issues / Children
• Infidelity
• Finances
• Divorce

Since good communication is essential to a healthy marriage, this is a topic that definitely should be covered in a save marriage book. In fact, communication problems is often the reason many couples don’t have good marriages.

Sex is a very important part of marriage, so if the book doesn’t even talk about this topic, then look for a different one. When sexual needs and desires aren’t met in a marriage, it can lead to significant issues, including infidelity.

Family issues and children are also key topics for a save marriage book. In-laws can often be a point of contention for many couples. Also, if you have children, your marriage problems are definitely affecting them, so be sure the book covers this topic well.

Affairs tear apart many marriages, and even if that is not your issue, a marriage with problems is more vulnerable to infidelity. So be sure the book covers this topic.

Finances are one of the primary reasons for marriage problems. Disagreements about how to handle money have led many couples to divorce court. Make sure the save marriage book you are considering addresses this topic very thoroughly.

Divorce is also a crucial topic. The book should give you some questions to consider to determine whether or not divorce may be a better option for you and your spouse than staying together. While this may not be an option you want to consider, it should still be discussed in the book so you can ask the hard questions regarding this topic.

Hopefully you and your spouse will both read the save marriage book you choose and use it as a catalyst for having difficult but important conversations. But even if you have to read it alone, a truly worthwhile book on marriage will give you some valuable advice with regards to what you can do to help your marriage.

If you prefer not be seen in the self help section of your local book store looking at marriage crisis books, take a look on the Internet for e-books that can be down loaded instantly.

T.W. Jackson has an e-book you may be interested in entitled "The Magic of Making Up". I have a complete review of his e-book over at ExBackLove.com. T.W. Jackson's "The Magic of Making Up" has helped thousands of couples world wide with his easy to follow, down to earth system that will not only will help you rekindle the passion in your marriage, but he also gives you great tools you can use to keep your relationship growing for many years to come.

Check it now at www.exbacklove.com

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Advice to Save your Marriage Your Counselor Won't Tell You

For many marriages in a crisis, one of the common patterns that likely contributed to the situation is that of not being able to handle conflict effectively. And that starts with being able to talk calmly. When it comes to save marriage advice, following is some excellent advice on how to have difficult conversations with your spouse without damaging your relationship in the process. Couples who get caught up in yelling, name calling, venting or verbally attacking each other inevitably wind up in divorce court. Read further for ways to talk to each other without losing control.

Decide up front what you want to accomplish by talking. Do you just want to allow each person to express feelings? Do you want to come up with a solution? It helps to have a goal before you start when it is a difficult topic.

Avoid blame. Learning to not get caught up in blame is sound save marriage advice regardless of the situation. Blame accomplishes nothing and is always destructive. Make steering clear of blame one of the rules for your conversations.

Allow for time outs. When you are discussing painful or difficult topics, it is inevitable that someone’s is going to feel the need to react at some point. Rather than staying in the conversation until that happens, be willing to take a time out to cool down. And be willing to let your spouse do the same thing when needed. This will prevent the conversation from escalating into a full blown fight in which hurtful things end up being said. This is also very good save marriage advice to follow when emotions run high.

Don’t get caught up in being “right”. In many situations, neither person is right or wrong. But if one of you insists on being right, it will quickly turn into a futile conversation.

Allow each other to speak without interrupting. When you interrupt someone who is talking, you are basically giving the message that what you have to say is far more important than whatever the other person is saying. A lot of people have this bad habit when they talk. And it is very disrespectful. It is very good save marriage advice to work towards really allowing each other to speak and be heard. Catch yourself when you start to interrupt. With practice, this is a bad habit both of you can break.

Accept that you won’t always agree on everything. This is definitely very wise save marriage advice! No two people in the world, no matter how much they love each other, are always going to agree. The sooner you can accept that in your marriage, the better all your conversations will be, especially the difficult ones. Also, it will show a lot of respect to your partner if you allow him or her to have an opinion that is different to yours. That is part of recognizing that he is a separate person with his own unique perspective.

The last piece of good save marriage advice for having difficult conversations is to avoid all-or-nothing types of statements. When you start using extreme words such as “never” or “always” you are just getting yourself into hot water. Catch yourself when you use one of the words and revise the statement. You will save both yourself and your spouse a lot of grief when you remember that there is a lot in between those two extremes.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Relationship Breakup

Ease the Pain of a Relationship Breakup Right Now

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people don't have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if it's one that needs to be broken up. You've spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if you're the one doing the breaking up, it's going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if you're the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you don't want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. I'm going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.

Step One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesn't matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then you're never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders

You need to get some space between you and the person you've broken up with. This means that you can't go to bed each night hanging on to your ex's old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People

There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If you've just experienced a relationship breakup, you're going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again

The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, you're just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Don't look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you don't necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Jealousy-The Fear Of losing Something you don't Have!

To day I want to talk about something a little different...JEALOUSY!

Websters.com defines jealousy as:[jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.]

Did you know that jealousy can be one of, if not the most damaging emotions in life. It can cause you to actually go insane. And the funny thing is jealousy, by my definition: Is the fear of losing something that does not belong to you.

Let's think about this for a moment, can you remember feeling jealous of someone or something? "How did she get that guy?" or "What does he have that I don't have?" "Why can't I get that promotion?"

Do you see where I am going with this? When you are jealous, you are concentrating on things that you don't have and want(or at least you think you want). You are afraid of losing something that is not your to begin with.

Instead of focusing on what you do have and are happy about, you spend wasted time dwelling on something or someone that you're convinced is out of reach for you.

When in reality, if you only took this same time to focus on your true needs and wants, you would probably far surpass any competition you perceive as a threat.

The other emotion or projections that you show to others by being jealous is insecurity. Insecurity is paper thin and everyone around you can see it. When you spend most of your time and money trying to impress the people around you or complaining to your friends and family about how unfair life is, your being insecure. Don't get me wrong, we all have our little insecurities, it's how we deal with them and accept them that make a difference in our life.

Believe me, I know. I have spent a life time trying to prove myself to everyone I have ever met and it gets exhausting. I spent many a sleepless night trying to think of the wright things to say or analyzing every angle of a certain situation so that I would be prepared for what ever outcome that came my way. INSECURITY and JEALOUSY caused the end of one marriage and nearly destroyed my second.

What I found was, when I let go of my jealousy and insecurities, life got a whole lot easier. I was more fun to be around, I made friends much easier and quicker. My wife was able to open up to me more (as well as my kids) I got more invitation to fun events, I even started to make more money! Its funny how things get so much easier when you considerate on what is important to you instead of worrying about what other people have or what other people think of you.

As insecurity and jealousy are paper thin so is happiness. When you are happy with yourself, it shows, and people want to be around you.

I don't mean to preach or tell you how to live your life, but if you seem to have difficulty in relationships and find yourself spending a little too much time worrying about what other people have or how they perceive you, maybe that time would be better spent finding out what makes you happy and in turn the people around you will thank you for it.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

How to Stop a Divorce After broken Trust

There are a lot of people who want to know how to stop a divorce and there are many answers. Not all of them may fit your situation. People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are staring at a divorce from your spouse is because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn't do to help. If there is something that you did that is the problem, don't tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce start with accepting responsibility for your actions.

Actions speak louder than words. What ever you did to damage the trust in your relationship, don't do it again. In fact don't do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want them to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully you have not burned them so bad that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don't deserve to be trusted.

Show your partner that you CAN be faithful, that will assure them that you are changing. Don't deny that you have betrayed their trust and don't try to justify it. Don't get mad because they don't trust you and don't argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you could have been the one who was unfaithful and needed a second chance, may be they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It very well may be that it can be resolved. How ever, many relationship never recover after an affair.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or maybe a professional that has been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn't easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Loving relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don't have to do it alone.

Try to understand that everyone makes mistakes, it is how we learn from our mistakes that define us as human beings.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Regaining Trust in a Relationship After An Affair

After an affair, relationships can be hard to repair. The most important part of any relationship is trust, and if you've cheated or have been cheated on, this bond is broken. The good news is that it is possible for a relationship to come back from cheating, but your are going to have to work for it.

The first thing you need to do is stop any affair relationships. This is not a guide on how to cheat on your partner. If you're going to continue to cheat, then these guidelines will not be of much help to you. If you're willing to do the work, then these tips will help you repair and regain trust your relationship.

The first thing you to need to do is tell your lover about the affair. Relationships are built on trust, and you can't have trust when you're lying to the other person. Not telling them is lying, a lie of omission. You need to tell them if they don't know, even though it is going to hurt.

Aside from general honesty, which is always a virtue, there is a practical side to this as well. If they don't know, they will find out, and it's better that you take the consequences now rather than add to the pain when they do find out. If you try to keep it a secret, you're going to destroy the relationship.

The next thing you need to do is to take responsibility. You may feel that your partner did something to drive you to cheat. We all have a natural tendency to rationalize our behavior, to explain ourselves by coming up with an excuse. But the reality is that it is you that cheated, you had the affair. This may feel like the hardest thing you have ever done and it hurts to know your mistake may destroy this relationship. Relationships aren't built by blaming your partner for your mistakes. Take the blame and try to build a better foundation.

Then you need to apologize. What you're looking for here is a complete admission and a sincere apology. You need to make sure that they know that you are truly repentant and regret what you did. Don't try to explain, just let them know how you feel. Give your lover a picture of your sole. Lay it all on the line.

Once you've done that, you need to give them some space. They are going to react, they are going to be hurt, and you can't push them into forgiving you any faster than they are going to already. Be there for them, but make sure that you don't push. They will be ready when they are ready, and if you try to push the issue then you are only going to succeed in pushing them further away.

After an affair, relationships are going to be different. The best thing you can do is to look at it as if you are starting the relationship all over again. You're going to need to win back their trust, and this is a process that is going to take some time. Like my grandpa used to say, "One oh shit! can wipe out a ton of that-a-boys." It's time to build up your "that-a-boys."

Fortunately, there are resources available to you to help you repair the relationship. It may be hard to admit to yourself that you need help, but using one of the systems can be the best relationship move you'll ever make.

One systems that helped me face my weaknesses and develop a plan to save my marriage is "The Magic of Making up" you can take a look at my review of this must have system over at www.exbacklove.com We'll see you over there,

Thanks for reading
Matt~

Monday, April 5, 2010

How to Get Ready to Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back

For some who have been a victim of a failed relationship, understanding how to get ready to win your ex girlfriend back can be a major problem and to be honest without a specific plan, most never find out how to get their ex girlfriend back.

If you have no doubt that you want to win ex girlfriend back then your first job is to read through this article and then take the action suggested.

There is no doubt in my mind, you'll get nowhere fast if you don't stop and think about what you're doing. Running around making grand, romantic gestures, as many do, is a quick way to losing your ex girlfriend for good. So if you've been sending designer perfume, booking romantic meals out, you need to stop that now and reflect.

Break off and give your ex some room, leave her alone. She has left you for a reason and if you want to get ready to win your ex girlfriend back, then ignoring her wishes will only send her in the opposite direction. So accept that by leaving you she has expressly and physically demonstrated her need for some time and space on her own and honor that.

Instead, spend the time away from her thinking about what went wrong and what was your role in the breakup. If you made a mistake that caused the breakup, don't waste time beating yourself up and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead take a long hard look at your behavior and take the necessary steps to change whatever needs changing.

Do you have anger issues? If you do then you should seriously consider talking to a professional who can help you cope with this and find different ways of expressing anger that do not threaten or cause harm.

Are you struggling with trust issues to the point that you were constantly wanting to know where your ex girlfriend was and who she was with? Work on building up your own self-esteem and self-confidence, because usually that is what is missing in cases like these.

Did you find yourself cheating on her even though you loved her? Well then take the time to find out why you were doing that and what you can do to stop temptation when it next comes along.

The truth is whatever the reason she walked out on you, to win ex girlfriend back you're going to have to do some serious and some honest and sincere work. If she has gone as far as walking out, then a flimsy gesture to get her back won't work. Believe her actions: she is ready to put your relationship on the line if things don't change.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

How to Say Your Sorry in a Letter

I am sure that all you can think about now is that she's left you and all you want to know is how to win ex girlfriend back. Possibly you didn't know that you loved her, or perhaps how much you loved her, until she walked out on you and now you're in pain and desperate to figure out how to win ex girlfriend back by saying your sorry in a letter.

Well here's some great information that will help you as you try to figure out the right moves that will help you get her back in your arms.

You might have made some mistakes, we've all been there, so don't beat yourself up! The most constructive thing to do right now is not to try and rewrite history, instead you need to figure out how to step up and find a way to write the future for the two of you, that you want.

If you need to apologize for anything that you did wrong, then get ready to do so. What you should also do, is to make sure that you understand why you're apologizing. Don't just go through the motions of an apology because you think it's what she wants to hear. No, look at the behavior that she's objecting to and try and understand her point of view.

The apology that you now come up with has to address two points if you're serious about figuring out how to win ex girlfriend back. Make sure that you use the apology to convince your ex girlfriend that you have completely understood her point of view and also that you're one hundred percent ready to change that behavior.

It will be great if you have previously come up with a plan to prove to your ex that you're rally serious. By that I mean do you need to go and talk to a professional about your behavior? Well then make the appointment and make sure that you have actually attended a few sessions and are committed to continuing to talking to the professional. Just a word of warning, if you're not sincere in this, you're wasting your time even trying to fool your ex girlfriend.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

3 Fast Tips to Get Your Wife Back for Good

If you’re saying, “I want my wife back for good,” but you’re unsure where to start, there are some simple things you can do to make it this happen. While no one tip or set of tips are going to guarantee that you’ll get your wife back for good, some things do work better than others. Soon you may not be saying, “I want my wife back for good,” but “why didn’t I do these things years ago?”

Being super nice and polite is the first step you have to take. That sounds way too simple, doesn’t it? But when we’re with someone for a while, we tend to take them for granted. And if right now you’re saying, “I want my wife back for good” then this will help you from the start.

No matter what happens, you need to be level headed, nice and polite. Unfortunately, it’s easier to be nice and polite when you’re still together because you see her more often. But it is possible to run into someone often “accidentally on-purpose,” especially if you live in a small town or are part of a close-knit community.

Bump into her often and use every moment you’re near her as a chance to show her that you can be considerate and polite. The important thing is to avoid things like getting angry or impatient with her.

Sometimes this is a hard thing to judge. You might think your wife wants you to be jealous. Or you might think the whole breakup is a game to get you to act differently. If you keep thinking of the breakup along those terms, you’re in for a rude awakening.

Sometimes people do break up with someone to prove a point and to get their lover to come around to their way of thinking. But most often it’s not a game, and the person left because they were unhappy with you and the relationship.

If you’re saying, “I want my wife back for good!” and you’re trying to fool yourself that she didn’t really intend to leave you, but instead meant get a rise out of you, stop thinking that way now!

You simply can not assume to know something that could be completely wrong. So understand that she had reasons that were good enough for her. And show her that there’s more to you than meets the eye.

So from being nice and polite, we move into being thoughtful. These are different things, though overlapping, being nice and polite can apply to everyday situations. Being thoughtful means going that extra mile.

Try sending her a card telling her how important she is to you. Send it for no real reason, no occasion, except to remind her that you think she’s special. Surprise her in a way you probably never did when you were together, and gain the rewards.

Finally, be thoughtful enough to leave her alone. You might think, “I want my wife back for good,” but if she’s not ready to try and you keep pushing her on the issue, you’ll only drive her further away.

Getting someone to come back to you can be a tricky business if you don't have the right tools. Get the tools you need to succeed in your relationship, check out www.exbacklove.com and learn hoe to get that ex back for good!

Friday, April 2, 2010

How To Win Ex Girlfriend Back for Good - All It Takes Is Saying I'm Sorry

If she has left you, then all that you are probably thinking about is how you can win your ex girlfriend back. Maybe you did not understand at first how much you loved and cared about her, or maybe you didn't realize you loved her at all, until it was too late. Now that she has left you, however, you are feeling deep pain and a desperate need to learn how to win ex girlfriend back.

Here is some information that will help you while you try to get a handle on how you are going to bring her back into your arms once and for all.

Maybe you made some stupid mistakes in the relationship, but we have all been there so don't worry. If you are truly serious about learning how to win ex girlfriend back for good, then you need to move past the bad times and start working on rekindling things with your ex girlfriend.

If you did something stupid that lead to the breakup, and you need to say your sorry, then now is your chance to be prepared to make this happen. You should not just apologize as part of how to win ex girlfriend back, but rather you should understand what you are apologizing for.

You do not need to change history as part of knowing how to win ex girlfriend back for good, but instead you are going to need to find a way to focus on the building blocks the relationship for the future rather than to repair the past.

If you are dedicated to doing what it takes to learn how to win ex girlfriend back for good, then there are two points that need to be addressed in your apology. Do you need to talk to a counselor regarding your behavior? If you are not truthful about getting the help that you need, then you are wasting your time and her time as well.

If you had an affair on her, then you need to figure out why, so that you can keep it from happening again. If you caused her pain in some other way, you need to discover what caused it, so that you can prevent it from ever happening again. Prevent the same situation from happening again, and you will know how to win ex girlfriend back for good.

When you finally do meet with your ex girlfriend, you need to be willing to apologize her. You need to make sure that you give her space and time after apologizing, so that she can think things through and figure out what it is she wants. If you do not give her time, you will force her come to a conclusion that is counterproductive for the relationship, so do not force her to make a decision until she is ready.

Need a Step by step on how to get your ex girlfriend back for good? Check out the review I did on T' Dubs book "The Magic of Making Up" over at www.exbacklove.com

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My Boyfriend Dumped Me-How do I Pick Up The Pieces

“I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me!” It isn't the end of the world and it isn't even close. Even though it is painful, it isn't going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesn't mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isn't going to be easy but it also isn't going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Don't be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn't mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don't worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.” Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren't following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don't want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person's perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person's perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

Im Still In Love With My Ex-What Can I Do?

Im Still In Love With My Ex

Do you say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” and wonder what can I do to get through the hours, let alone the next days? It’s common to feel completely lost after a breakup, especially if you’re not the one what wanted to to be over. And if you sit around thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex,” you’re only making it tougher on yourself.

If you’re really in love with your ex you could make an attempt to get back together. There is no guarantee that anything you do will get you back together, but you could still try. Often, being open and just making it really clear that you don’t want to lose your ex will be enough to move them to give it one more chance.

If infidelity was involved in some way, then their wanting to come back is less likely, but it still can be done. If you had an affair, you might think it’s going to be harder to get them back.

But if they cheated and that relationship has ended, it’s still harder to get them back once they’ve been with someone else. And it’s going to take a long time for you to start trusting each other again.

It’s important for you to decide that if your ex gives in and comes back, how will you keep from falling into the same patterns the next time around? You can say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” until you’re blue in the face, and that won’t chance whether or not you have problems in the future.

It’s really easy to be in love with someone. But making a relationship work is hard and takes a great deal of effort. And you have the added difficulty of overcoming a break up. You can try to convince your ex that if you get back together you’ll change your ways, and maybe they’ll believe you.

But the best thing you can do is simply show that you’ve changed your ways, without saying much about it. Actions really do almost always speak much louder than words, so the things you do are going to be noticed more by your ex than the things you say.

It’s important to say the right things, too. But it’s more important to do the right things. If you’re really still in love with them then you should want to change your actions dramatically, at least right now. When you think your actions might make a difference it’s easy to feel like you can change many things about yourself.

What you have to determine is whether or not you can really follow through with it. There’s no point in making promises to your ex that you’re not going to be able to keep.

If you have any doubt that you’ll want to make the changes that you or your ex feel are necessary, then you shouldn’t promise that you’ll make them. Though you say, “I’m still in love with my ex, “ you have to remember than only lasting changes will matter, not just a fast change to win them back.

There are many ways you can succeed in rekindling a relationship, with the correct guidance. Find out how you can get the kind of guidance that has lead many couples around the world to feel the magic of making up.
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