Common Marriage Problems
For many couples, there are common marriage problems which often start to creep into the relationship over time. If you are feeling that your marriage isn’t what it should be, or what you thought it would be when you first walked down the aisle, you are not alone. Millions of couples grapple with relationship issues, often feeling that the problems are unique to their relationship. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and / or loneliness, when it doesn’t need to.
So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing. All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.
Feeling like you have “fallen out of love” with each other
When you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your family and friends and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other. For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years. In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal. The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgages can take up all of your time and energy. And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that scenario is fairly common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce.
Taking each other for granted
Another one of the most common marriage problems is that many couples start taking each other for granted. To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there. But in relationships, this can lead to a slow, simmering resentment for one or both of you. Everyone longs to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. After all, that was a big part of the reason you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted. When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Sadly, what often happens is that you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone.
Failure to really talk to each other
Poor communication or the failure to really talk to each other is probably one of the most common marriage problems many couples face. Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack. Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse. This is particularly true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm. You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise. Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change.
If you and your spouse are struggling with any one of these common marriage problems, there is hope. The first step is always acknowledging the problem. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Marriage in Crisis
Marriage in Crisis
You probably never thought it would happen to you, but suddenly you find your marriage in crisis. You and your spouse are fighting a lot, or one of you has been unfaithful, or perhaps you have just simply grown distant over the years. Regardless of the reason, you may be trying to decide what your options are. You may be anxious, scared, angry, hurt or just feeling very alone. So let’s look at some options if when your marriage in crisis feels a bit overwhelming.
Take some time apart
For some people, when they are experiencing marriage problems, taking some time apart can give them an opportunity to gain much needed perspective. When you are right in the thick of an emotionally charged situation, you may be too close to things to come up with effective solutions. A brief separation can be beneficial in order to get your bearings and think through the best way to handle your marriage in crisis.
Also, during this time apart you can determine if you really want to stay in your marriage or not. This is a very difficult decision for many people and should not be made without a lot of thought. Taking time apart can give you the space your need to think it through without the day to day pressures at home which often accompany a marriage in crisis.
Get into therapy
Going to a therapist can be very helpful when a marriage in crisis is turning your life upside down. Therapy will not only provide you with a safe place to talk openly and freely, it will provide you an opportunity to problem solve with someone who is neutral and objective with regards to your situation. Family and friends may be willing to listen and give advice, but usually they will be biased in one way or the other, and won’t be objective like a therapist.
Put your cards on the table with your spouse
Often when a marriage has reached a crisis point, one or both partners is unable or unwilling to take the risk of saying what they really want and feel. Instead you are often both guarded or defensive as you try to navigate your way through what feels like an emotional minefield. But if one of you takes the risk of truly putting your cards on the table, it may be the catalyst for much needed open conversations. That being said, it may backfire also, and that is what makes it particularly uncomfortable for most people. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it, and how you think your partner may respond if you try.
File for divorce
Another option when experiencing a marriage in crisis is to throw in the towel and file for divorce. If the crisis has been going on for a long time and shows little hope for resolution, this may be the best option. Only you can decide if this is the best route for you. But it definitely should not be done hastily, as the emotional and financial cost of divorce is often very high.
Determine what changes you can make to improve your marriage
With a marriage in crisis the only person you can change is you. You can’t change your spouse even though you may feel that is the best solution! But the person you can change is you. Marriage problems are rarely, if ever, due to one person. It takes two to tango and two to create problems. If you start making some positive changes your spouse will inevitably have to make some changes also. Your spouse may not change as you would like, but if you make positive changes you can hold your head high knowing that you did, and leave the marriage with more dignity if it still doesn’t work out in the end.
Only you can decide the best choice for you when a marriage in crisis is taking a toll on your emotional well being. Consider these options and trust your heart. And know that many couples do find a way to get back on track. Hopefully you will too!
You probably never thought it would happen to you, but suddenly you find your marriage in crisis. You and your spouse are fighting a lot, or one of you has been unfaithful, or perhaps you have just simply grown distant over the years. Regardless of the reason, you may be trying to decide what your options are. You may be anxious, scared, angry, hurt or just feeling very alone. So let’s look at some options if when your marriage in crisis feels a bit overwhelming.
Take some time apart
For some people, when they are experiencing marriage problems, taking some time apart can give them an opportunity to gain much needed perspective. When you are right in the thick of an emotionally charged situation, you may be too close to things to come up with effective solutions. A brief separation can be beneficial in order to get your bearings and think through the best way to handle your marriage in crisis.
Also, during this time apart you can determine if you really want to stay in your marriage or not. This is a very difficult decision for many people and should not be made without a lot of thought. Taking time apart can give you the space your need to think it through without the day to day pressures at home which often accompany a marriage in crisis.
Get into therapy
Going to a therapist can be very helpful when a marriage in crisis is turning your life upside down. Therapy will not only provide you with a safe place to talk openly and freely, it will provide you an opportunity to problem solve with someone who is neutral and objective with regards to your situation. Family and friends may be willing to listen and give advice, but usually they will be biased in one way or the other, and won’t be objective like a therapist.
Put your cards on the table with your spouse
Often when a marriage has reached a crisis point, one or both partners is unable or unwilling to take the risk of saying what they really want and feel. Instead you are often both guarded or defensive as you try to navigate your way through what feels like an emotional minefield. But if one of you takes the risk of truly putting your cards on the table, it may be the catalyst for much needed open conversations. That being said, it may backfire also, and that is what makes it particularly uncomfortable for most people. Only you can decide if the risk is worth it, and how you think your partner may respond if you try.
File for divorce
Another option when experiencing a marriage in crisis is to throw in the towel and file for divorce. If the crisis has been going on for a long time and shows little hope for resolution, this may be the best option. Only you can decide if this is the best route for you. But it definitely should not be done hastily, as the emotional and financial cost of divorce is often very high.
Determine what changes you can make to improve your marriage
With a marriage in crisis the only person you can change is you. You can’t change your spouse even though you may feel that is the best solution! But the person you can change is you. Marriage problems are rarely, if ever, due to one person. It takes two to tango and two to create problems. If you start making some positive changes your spouse will inevitably have to make some changes also. Your spouse may not change as you would like, but if you make positive changes you can hold your head high knowing that you did, and leave the marriage with more dignity if it still doesn’t work out in the end.
Only you can decide the best choice for you when a marriage in crisis is taking a toll on your emotional well being. Consider these options and trust your heart. And know that many couples do find a way to get back on track. Hopefully you will too!
How to Save Your Marriage
How to Save Your Marriage
Marriage can be full of joy, but it can also be full of pain. For some couples, it seems the joy has been gone for so long that it is impossible to ever get it back. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When it comes to how to save your marriage, there are a lot of things you can do to start getting your relationship back on track. But you must be willing to look at yourself and make the necessary changes. Change isn’t easy, but if how to save your marriage is really a priority for you, then keep reading.
What are you bringing to the relationship?
One of the first things you need to do when it comes to how to save your marriage is to sit down and make a list of what you are actually contributing to the relationship. This is not a list for things like making money to pay the mortgage, or cleaning the house, or doing the grocery shopping.
Rather, in what ways are you making the relationship good or bad? Are you constantly nit-picking at your spouse’s short-comings? Do you express heartfelt appreciation frequently that your spouse is in your life, or for the wonderful things your spouse does for you? Are you supportive? Do you listen when your partner needs to talk about something that is bothering him or her? Are you loving and affectionate?
Your marriage is like a bank account. You are either making deposits into it or withdrawing from the account. If you are mostly making withdrawals, the bank account will eventually run dry. You must be making plenty of deposits also if you learning how to save your marriage is important to you.
Is your marriage a two-way street, or must everything always be on your terms?
Some people don’t know how to be in a relationship without trying to control it. If you are the type of person who has to have everything happen on your terms, then you are not only being incredibly selfish, you are also treating your spouse with disrespect. And maybe your spouse has put up with it for a long time, but if how to save your marriage is a concern for you, chances are it is because your spouse has had enough.
A marriage is meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship in which one person calls all the shots and expects the other to “obey”. Attempting to control your spouse will usually foster resentment. Your spouse is a separate human being whose wants and needs may not always coincide with yours. Compromise is essential to a good marriage. Honoring and respecting his or her feelings, wants and needs instead will go a long way towards creating a healthier, more loving relationship.
Are you being passive-aggressive in your marriage?
While controlling behavior is very destructive to a relationship, passive-aggressive behavior is as well. Passive-aggressive individuals attempt to get their needs met in very unhealthy ways. Rather than speaking up and expressing their true needs or feelings, they say one thing and then act in a way which subtly or not so subtly contradicts it, usually in an attempt to get back at the other person.
For example, a passive-aggressive wife may tell her husband its fine if he wants to spend the day golfing with his friends. However, in actuality she is not happy about it all and decides to get back at him by “accidentally” putting a new red shirt in the wash with his underwear as she does laundry that day. Needless to say, this is also destructive to a marriage and defeats the goal of how to save a marriage.
These are just a few questions to ask yourself if you are worried about your marriage. The only person you can change is yourself, so if you are wondering how to save a marriage, you must start with making changes in how you interact with your spouse. As you make positive changes, you will likely find that your spouse does also.
Marriage can be full of joy, but it can also be full of pain. For some couples, it seems the joy has been gone for so long that it is impossible to ever get it back. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When it comes to how to save your marriage, there are a lot of things you can do to start getting your relationship back on track. But you must be willing to look at yourself and make the necessary changes. Change isn’t easy, but if how to save your marriage is really a priority for you, then keep reading.
What are you bringing to the relationship?
One of the first things you need to do when it comes to how to save your marriage is to sit down and make a list of what you are actually contributing to the relationship. This is not a list for things like making money to pay the mortgage, or cleaning the house, or doing the grocery shopping.
Rather, in what ways are you making the relationship good or bad? Are you constantly nit-picking at your spouse’s short-comings? Do you express heartfelt appreciation frequently that your spouse is in your life, or for the wonderful things your spouse does for you? Are you supportive? Do you listen when your partner needs to talk about something that is bothering him or her? Are you loving and affectionate?
Your marriage is like a bank account. You are either making deposits into it or withdrawing from the account. If you are mostly making withdrawals, the bank account will eventually run dry. You must be making plenty of deposits also if you learning how to save your marriage is important to you.
Is your marriage a two-way street, or must everything always be on your terms?
Some people don’t know how to be in a relationship without trying to control it. If you are the type of person who has to have everything happen on your terms, then you are not only being incredibly selfish, you are also treating your spouse with disrespect. And maybe your spouse has put up with it for a long time, but if how to save your marriage is a concern for you, chances are it is because your spouse has had enough.
A marriage is meant to be a partnership, not a dictatorship in which one person calls all the shots and expects the other to “obey”. Attempting to control your spouse will usually foster resentment. Your spouse is a separate human being whose wants and needs may not always coincide with yours. Compromise is essential to a good marriage. Honoring and respecting his or her feelings, wants and needs instead will go a long way towards creating a healthier, more loving relationship.
Are you being passive-aggressive in your marriage?
While controlling behavior is very destructive to a relationship, passive-aggressive behavior is as well. Passive-aggressive individuals attempt to get their needs met in very unhealthy ways. Rather than speaking up and expressing their true needs or feelings, they say one thing and then act in a way which subtly or not so subtly contradicts it, usually in an attempt to get back at the other person.
For example, a passive-aggressive wife may tell her husband its fine if he wants to spend the day golfing with his friends. However, in actuality she is not happy about it all and decides to get back at him by “accidentally” putting a new red shirt in the wash with his underwear as she does laundry that day. Needless to say, this is also destructive to a marriage and defeats the goal of how to save a marriage.
These are just a few questions to ask yourself if you are worried about your marriage. The only person you can change is yourself, so if you are wondering how to save a marriage, you must start with making changes in how you interact with your spouse. As you make positive changes, you will likely find that your spouse does also.
Christian Marriage Counseling for You
Christian Marriage Counseling
If you and your spouse are going through a difficult time, you may find that marriage therapy can be very beneficial. And if you and your spouse have a strong Christian faith, you may prefer to seek out Christian marriage counseling. Working with a counselor who approaches therapy from a theoretical perspective which aligns with your personal faith will prevent some of the clashes which may occur if you attempt to work with a secular therapist with a very different approach.
In order to find someone who specializes in Christian marriage counseling, you may want to consult with your pastor or other people in your church. You may also look in your local yellow pages or do a search online. If you search online, you can search for the terms “Christian marriage counseling”, “Christian marriage therapy” and that can help you get started. If you add the name of your city or county you will narrow down your search to someone in your proximity.
Once you have come up with a few potential therapists, you may want to try to find out a little information about them. For example, what are their credentials? Are they licensed? How long have they been practicing? You also may want to give them a call and see if you can find out a little information over the phone before committing to an appointment.
For example, you may want to ask them how much of their approach is based on Biblical principles. This can vary greatly when it comes to Christian marriage counseling. If you want someone who is going to use the Bible and prayer in the counseling session, you may want to inquire about that. Of course, this will depend on your personal preference.
If you can talk briefly by phone with two or three different therapists, you may get a better initial sense of whether or not this is someone with whom you want to set up an appointment. If the phone conversation doesn’t feel quite right, trust your instincts and move on to the next one.
In order for Christian marriage counseling to be truly beneficial to you and your spouse, it is particularly important that both of you feel comfortable with the counselor. If you meet for a session and one of you doesn’t care for the counselor, you may find the process very challenging if you continue to see this person.
Once you find someone who is a good fit for both of you, determine a schedule that will work for everyone. Having a therapy session early in the morning before work or mid-day is often not a good idea. Counseling can tap into some difficult emotions so it is best to choose a time of day when neither of you has other obligations immediately following the sessions.
As you begin the process of Christian marriage counseling, be sure that the counselor sets clear ground rules with regards to how the sessions will be handled, how long they will last, how emergencies will be handled, what to do if you need to cancel, and confidentiality issues. Also, be sure that you discuss your goals with the therapist so that everyone is on the same page with regards to what they want Christian marriage counseling to accomplish.
After you have done all this, approach the process with an open mind and the willingness to be ready to make some changes. Marriage therapy can be very beneficial, but you must be willing to do the work. In time, you may find that your marriage is back on track and stronger than ever!
If you and your spouse are going through a difficult time, you may find that marriage therapy can be very beneficial. And if you and your spouse have a strong Christian faith, you may prefer to seek out Christian marriage counseling. Working with a counselor who approaches therapy from a theoretical perspective which aligns with your personal faith will prevent some of the clashes which may occur if you attempt to work with a secular therapist with a very different approach.
In order to find someone who specializes in Christian marriage counseling, you may want to consult with your pastor or other people in your church. You may also look in your local yellow pages or do a search online. If you search online, you can search for the terms “Christian marriage counseling”, “Christian marriage therapy” and that can help you get started. If you add the name of your city or county you will narrow down your search to someone in your proximity.
Once you have come up with a few potential therapists, you may want to try to find out a little information about them. For example, what are their credentials? Are they licensed? How long have they been practicing? You also may want to give them a call and see if you can find out a little information over the phone before committing to an appointment.
For example, you may want to ask them how much of their approach is based on Biblical principles. This can vary greatly when it comes to Christian marriage counseling. If you want someone who is going to use the Bible and prayer in the counseling session, you may want to inquire about that. Of course, this will depend on your personal preference.
If you can talk briefly by phone with two or three different therapists, you may get a better initial sense of whether or not this is someone with whom you want to set up an appointment. If the phone conversation doesn’t feel quite right, trust your instincts and move on to the next one.
In order for Christian marriage counseling to be truly beneficial to you and your spouse, it is particularly important that both of you feel comfortable with the counselor. If you meet for a session and one of you doesn’t care for the counselor, you may find the process very challenging if you continue to see this person.
Once you find someone who is a good fit for both of you, determine a schedule that will work for everyone. Having a therapy session early in the morning before work or mid-day is often not a good idea. Counseling can tap into some difficult emotions so it is best to choose a time of day when neither of you has other obligations immediately following the sessions.
As you begin the process of Christian marriage counseling, be sure that the counselor sets clear ground rules with regards to how the sessions will be handled, how long they will last, how emergencies will be handled, what to do if you need to cancel, and confidentiality issues. Also, be sure that you discuss your goals with the therapist so that everyone is on the same page with regards to what they want Christian marriage counseling to accomplish.
After you have done all this, approach the process with an open mind and the willingness to be ready to make some changes. Marriage therapy can be very beneficial, but you must be willing to do the work. In time, you may find that your marriage is back on track and stronger than ever!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Tke A Look At These 5 Simple Tips
Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips
It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.
It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.
Friday, February 12, 2010
To Win Ex Boyfriend Back
To Win Ex Boyfriend Back You Might Need To Work On Yourself
So you've just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who you've never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep. Your first thought is that you must win ex boyfriend back before he gets too serious with this other girl.
Well take it easy and don't go rushing head long into this, what you have on your side that the current girlfriend does not have is history! In your effort to win ex boyfriend back remember, history can sometimes over ride everything else and take precedence.
Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. So be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.
If you're not sure, before you go full on trying to win ex boyfriend back, ask a good friend who will tell you the truth and not only what you want to hear. Weigh up what your friend says and what you honestly know and feel and then make your decision about what you want to do.
If what you discover is that certain aspects of your behavior were primarily to blame for the break down in your ex relationship, then you need to find ways of amending that behavior. There's no point in trying to get back together with your ex if the reason he left you is still staring you both in the face. So deal with what needs to be dealt with on your part before you make any real attempt at reconciliation.
Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.
To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship. You have done some work and sorted yourself out and you have found that you still have really strong feelings for him. Tell him you'd like another chance.
Give him the space to explain how he feels and what he wants. Don't get emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. If you need to give him time to think things over, then do that. Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.
So you've just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who you've never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep. Your first thought is that you must win ex boyfriend back before he gets too serious with this other girl.
Well take it easy and don't go rushing head long into this, what you have on your side that the current girlfriend does not have is history! In your effort to win ex boyfriend back remember, history can sometimes over ride everything else and take precedence.
Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong. With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles. So be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy.
If you're not sure, before you go full on trying to win ex boyfriend back, ask a good friend who will tell you the truth and not only what you want to hear. Weigh up what your friend says and what you honestly know and feel and then make your decision about what you want to do.
If what you discover is that certain aspects of your behavior were primarily to blame for the break down in your ex relationship, then you need to find ways of amending that behavior. There's no point in trying to get back together with your ex if the reason he left you is still staring you both in the face. So deal with what needs to be dealt with on your part before you make any real attempt at reconciliation.
Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex boyfriend back, you then need to make contact with him. Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral. Don't let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you don't want to frighten him off at this point.
To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship. You have done some work and sorted yourself out and you have found that you still have really strong feelings for him. Tell him you'd like another chance.
Give him the space to explain how he feels and what he wants. Don't get emotional or angry if you don't hear what you want to hear. If you need to give him time to think things over, then do that. Don't rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you. With any luck, you'll get the call you want and you'll be back together.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Starting Over Win Your Love Back
Starting Over Win Your Love Back
Win your love back. It slipped away before you had a chance to realize what was happening. It seems like everything happened so quickly, like a tornado that came out of nowhere and destroyed everything that the two of you had worked so hard at building. The results were devastating. Now you are left walking through the rubble trying to find out if there is anything worth saving. To win your love back is going to be a huge challenge.
To try and win your love back, first look to see if there is anything able to be salvaged. Look through all that remains, take a hard look at everything and see the damage that was done. It could be that the damage due to the break up was too much and there really isn’t anything left to save. Hopefully, this is not the case but, unfortunately, it is true many times.
Also take a critical look at everything and see if trying to win your love back is even something that you want to even try and do. Winning your love back is going to be hard work and you just went through an exhausting time in your life.
Does it make sense to try and put these pieces of the failed romance and/or marriage back together? Will you just be banging your head against the wall? Do they even want to try and work with you or even want to win your love back? Ask yourself these hard questions. It could save you a lot of added and unnecessary grief.
Now, once you have decided that it is worth it to try and win your love back, clean up. Get rid of all the things that cluttered up your life and made it difficult. This is a great chance to go in and take only what was good about your love and leave behind the bad stuff. If there was something that complicated things between the two of you, leave it behind. You really need to focus your energy on building on the more solid foundations of your love.
What was it that made your love special? What were the best things about your love? What was it that made it special and really makes you want to win your love back? Focus on these things and use them as the cornerstone and foundation of winning your love back.
One mistake that many make when they want to rebuild a relationship is that they try and rebuild it exactly the way it was before it started falling apart. The truth is, if it wasn’t strong enough to withstand the storms that came the first time, it won’t be strong the next time. Try to build it better than it was before. Don’t live in the past, build on the good things and leave behind the things that made what you have weak enough to be destroyed. Win your love back and make it stronger than ever before.
Win your love back. It slipped away before you had a chance to realize what was happening. It seems like everything happened so quickly, like a tornado that came out of nowhere and destroyed everything that the two of you had worked so hard at building. The results were devastating. Now you are left walking through the rubble trying to find out if there is anything worth saving. To win your love back is going to be a huge challenge.
To try and win your love back, first look to see if there is anything able to be salvaged. Look through all that remains, take a hard look at everything and see the damage that was done. It could be that the damage due to the break up was too much and there really isn’t anything left to save. Hopefully, this is not the case but, unfortunately, it is true many times.
Also take a critical look at everything and see if trying to win your love back is even something that you want to even try and do. Winning your love back is going to be hard work and you just went through an exhausting time in your life.
Does it make sense to try and put these pieces of the failed romance and/or marriage back together? Will you just be banging your head against the wall? Do they even want to try and work with you or even want to win your love back? Ask yourself these hard questions. It could save you a lot of added and unnecessary grief.
Now, once you have decided that it is worth it to try and win your love back, clean up. Get rid of all the things that cluttered up your life and made it difficult. This is a great chance to go in and take only what was good about your love and leave behind the bad stuff. If there was something that complicated things between the two of you, leave it behind. You really need to focus your energy on building on the more solid foundations of your love.
What was it that made your love special? What were the best things about your love? What was it that made it special and really makes you want to win your love back? Focus on these things and use them as the cornerstone and foundation of winning your love back.
One mistake that many make when they want to rebuild a relationship is that they try and rebuild it exactly the way it was before it started falling apart. The truth is, if it wasn’t strong enough to withstand the storms that came the first time, it won’t be strong the next time. Try to build it better than it was before. Don’t live in the past, build on the good things and leave behind the things that made what you have weak enough to be destroyed. Win your love back and make it stronger than ever before.
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